Cider House Rules
by starshollow
Summary: “We sure are dysfunctional as friends and roommates, but can’t we still work it out over drinks?” Enter the world of Hermione the workaholic and Draco the snarky ‘landlord’ who secretly wants her to stay home with him for ever and always.


Draco entered the small, dimly lit cafe on the west side of wizarding London and took his seat at a booth in the far back corner to wait for Hermione.

He really wasn't sure how long they had been having these weekly meetings, perhaps since he'd found out from a source at the Ministry that she'd gone to muggle medical school and still ended up working at St Mungo's of all things after doing some additional mediwitch training. He didn't know why it'd intrigued him so, or why he even cared what she did with her life, but he'd made it his mission to follow her achievements and now they were meeting each other for drinks after work on a regular basis, and even fairly peacefully sharing the same flat as roommates, all while forming tentative bonds and establishing a sort of quasi-relationship.

A waitress came by, and he ordered a tall mug of cider. He asked jokingly if there was an alcoholic version of the drink, and the waitress looked at him funny and pointed toward the bar indicating that he should take it up with the man standing behind it. He brushed off her suggestion and when she turned he removed a small decanter of firewhiskey from his cloak pocket.

He looked up just in time to see Hermione make her way across the room and take the seat opposite him.

"Starting early tonight, I see," she chided gently as she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and then sank down into the booth across from him.

"It's half past six, work's been over for nearly two hours, how is that an early start?" he responded, inwardly smiling at her sign of affection.

"Well, I suppose it's just a matter of perspective," she said, and signaled the waitress over subtly.

"Here's your cider, sir, and what would you like ma'am?" the younger girl asked Hermione, and Draco took this opportunity and subtly added some of the contents to his drink and replaced it on his person.

"Ooh, that sounds good, I'll have one of those as well," Hermione responded and the girl left to prepare her drink.

She sank back into the booth and drew a basket of sesame seed breadsticks towards her to much on. She studied Draco intensely, trying to decide if he looked different than last week. 'Why on earth would anything have changed about him in just seven days?' she questioned herself.

The waitress came by with Hermione's beverage, and asked if they needed anything else, but Draco shooed her away as politely as possible and turned his attention back to the woman across from him.

"So, Granger, what's on your mind?" Draco asked her once he noticed she had been staring at him.

"Nothing, well not really, I just thought you looked a bit different this week." Hermione posed to him, sipping her cider.

"Different, Granger?" Draco responded, "You've known me for the better part of fifteen years, and you think that I look different all of the sudden?"

"Forget it, Malfoy, it was just a passing thought, I have already," Hermione retorted.

"Well, you know, now that you mention it, these are new robes, and I started doing my hair a new way recently," Draco responded.

"It's good to know that at the end of the day, I can still count on the unparalleled vanity of Draco Malfoy," Hermione said sarcastically.

"Well, I aim to please, Granger, and I'm available anytime day or night, you know, if your boy toys, er, friends, aren't meeting your pleasure quota," Draco shot back.

"Thanks, but no thanks, Malfoy, if it's all the same," Hermione said, and took a sip of the drink in front of her, which happened to be Draco's by mistake.

"Eugh, what it is in that?" Hermione said, shoving his cup across the table, before reaching for a napkin.

"Oh, its just a bit of Firewhiskey, it didn't have enough of an edge," Draco laughed, amused by Hermione's face.

"Just a bit? It's enough to knock out a small Hippogriff," Hermione spat back at him from behind the paper napkin, and then reached for her own drink to wash out the foul taste.

"To each their own poison," Draco said, smirking.

"Speaking of being unconscious and poisoned how was work today?" Draco asked her, trying to steer her mind away from her obvious displeasure.

"Ugh, as good as any day with the psychos at St. Mungo's can be," Hermione responded distractedly.

"Be careful what you say, Longbottom might not like you speaking ill of his family," Draco responded without thinking.

"MALFOY! I can't believe you'd say such a thing, oh who am I kidding, of course I can, some things never change," Hermione fussed at him, and then suddenly stood up and headed for the front door. She really ought to have known better by now, though she still wanted to think he'd changed for the better in order to justify the feelings she was beginning to harbor for him.

"Granger, come on, I didn't mean it like that," Draco called after her, throwing money on the table to cover their tab and taking one last gulp of his spiked cider for the courage he'd need to face her.

"Oh and how was it supposed to come out then?" Hermione threw back at him over her shoulder as she reached the front entrance and stepped out into the nearly empty street.

"Hey, Granger, wait up," Draco huffed, while trying to keep up with her brisk pace and avoid running into others on the sidewalk.

"Oh and why would I do that, Malfoy?" Hermione fussed, still not facing him.

"Maybe because," Draco grabbed her arm and paused to catch a breath, "we're going back to the same place now in case you've forgotten, and it won't do to have us still fighting after we get there," he finished.

"What's that not really going to hurt, it's not like it's peaceful now," Hermione said, now facing him and sulking.

"Nothing could possibly improve the environment with that animal of yours around," Draco said, smirking at her in distaste.

"Don't insult my dog, Malfoy," Hermione responded.

"Is that what it's supposed to be?" Draco responded, "because you really can't tell."

"Oh, you know good and well that Ruby is like a child to me, so don't start on that again," Hermione fussed at him and turned around and started walking again.

They found themselves at the door of their shared flat fairly quickly, despite the rather long distance to their residence from the cafe to where they lived.

As Draco turned his key in the lock, he could already hear the panting of the large canine through the door, as her eyes peeked out through the curtain and she began to bark excitedly at the prospect of seeing her owner at the end of a long day.

"Hey Ruby," Hermione said enthusiastically, almost forgetting all about the turmoil of earlier.

Ruby wagged her tail and padded after Hermione towards her room.

Draco's gaze followed the figures with two bushy tails leaving the room, and he thought about the particularly rough patch they'd had shortly after Hermione moved in. It wasn't even nearly as bad now, he supposed. It had taken him forever to convince her that she'd save money by living with him since he had an extra room and the whole thing was already paid for by some distant relative of his mothers. She had said she didn't know if they could get along since they hadn't done well sharing a Heads dormitory during their last year of Hogwarts, and he'd countered with the fact that they wouldn't spend nearly as much time together as they had then because they both worked too much. It was too bad that he hadn't accounted for the feelings he was unfortunate enough to develop for her when he'd first thought of offering her the second room in his flat. Oh, who was he kidding, of course he'd thought of that, and hoped for hers in return, even though they were possibly the most dysfunctional potential couple ever, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

_A few months earlier:_

"Remind me again, why I wanted to live with you, Malfoy?" Hermione said to him that first morning as she surveyed the disorganized living room with utter disgust.

"Because I'm absolutely the most charming man you've ever met," Draco responded, with an evilly sarcastic smirk, topping it off with an elaborately executed yet simple kiss to her forehead that made him feel more inside than he should have.

"Right, try again, not even a blind and deaf muggle would buy that one," Hermione replied after a long moment, trying to ease the emotional tension she was feeling in reaction to open affection from Draco Malfoy of all people.

"I don't know, I've known some rather dumb muggles," Draco quipped back not thinking.

If she was pissed at his insensitive jab she didn't really show it, at least not right away, though Draco figured she was probably more mad than she initially let on.

She growled at him then, under her breath slightly, and began to rant about how wizards wouldn't think they were nearly as smart or special if they didn't have a basis for comparison and there wasn't anymore proof for more intelligence amongst those with magic in their blood than there was for the muggle myths of the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, which of course he didn't understand or appreciate.

Draco suddenly leaned forward and cut her off with a rather deep, though awkward kiss, which she was too shocked to respond to, and then justified it as being the only way to shut her up.

"Well I suppose it did work rather well, yes," Hermione said, bringing her fingers up to her lips.

"Hermione," Draco said smiling, and in an unusual use of her given name, hoping to win back her good mood, "you know I'm the only one willing to put up with that massive enormously ugly red ball of fluff you call a pet" Draco told her, amused, then paused gestured towards the panting animal behind her and added "What is she supposed to be anyway?"

"A dog, silly, from my parents as a present for med school graduation" Hermione told him, playing the obvious card, still mad at him slightly.

"I know that, I meant what kind, or didn't you think I knew what a dog looked like?" Draco responded rather sarcastically.

"She's a golden retriever, and she's special because of the unique color of her coat," Hermione told him matter of factly.

"You mean your parents paid extra to get you one that looked like the eighth Weasley child?" Draco responded, horrified.

"Don't make fun of Ruby," Hermione countered, "she is the nicest animal ever, and she was a gift from my parents."

"You mentioned that already, although I think a graduation gift of a sterling silver stethoscope would have been more appropriate than a silly dog." Draco told her.

"You won't even notice her here," Hermione promised.

"You know, I don't remember pets being in the negotiation agreement of you living here," Draco further pressed the issue.

"Well that's too bad that you neglected to think of it, because she's staying, and she's not nearly as mean as Crookshanks was," Hermione said, brushing past him after laying another brief kiss on his lips and moving her things to her room.

Draco wondered out to the living room the next morning rather groggily. He really needed coffee.

He practically tripped over his wand, lying in the middle of the path to the kitchen, looking as if it had seen better days.

"GRANGER!" Draco yelled as he picked his wand up of the floor curiously, and then getting angrier as he noticed teeth gouges.

A few moments later, her door opened, and a rather befuddled bushy head poked out, followed by the rest of her body, walking slowly as she gathered and tied her robe closed.

"Don't look presentable for me, it won't change how much I'm going to yell at you," Draco said, getting more pissed by the second.

"What's wrong Malfoy, not that you need a reason to be unpleasant," Hermione asked him halfheartedly.

"That, that _animal_ of yours, has chewed into my wand!" Draco seethed.

"Oh, is that all, well it's your fault for leaving it out where she could get to it," Hermione responded, pushing past him, and reaching for the coffee pot, which thankfully had was full with of dark liquid since she'd remembered to set it the night before.

"My fault? _My_ fault?" Draco practically bellowed in her ear.

"Yes, _Draco_, your fault -- your wand, your responsibility, your problem," Hermione chided, and then went on, "and you don't have to yell at me, it won't help anything."

"How exactly would you expect me to react then, grab your dog by the collar and kick her out the door?" Draco said, "because I can easily do that!"

"No, I expect you to act like the grown man you are, and deal with it on your own time later today and not bother me with it," Hermione said from behind a full mug of steaming coffee, "and you better not lay a finger on Ruby, or I'll kill you in your sleep," she continued in as sickly sweet a tone as she could muster.

"Okay, if you're so smart, how can I keep it from happening again?" Draco asked, his tone lightening a little since he kind of felt stupid about the whole thing now that she'd opened her mouth to chastise him.

"Well, I've had to put some mild smell and taste aversion hexes and a vibrating charm on mine with the help of Harry and his wand," Hermione said softly.

"A vibrating charm, huh Granger?" Draco said, and his mood rose greatly with the opportunity to taunt her.

"Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Malfoy, it's too scare her off if she gets too close to it, and it's worked beautifully to guard it from her, though Crookshanks always did find it pleasing to sit on it and have it massage his stomach," Hermione mused.

"Oh, I'll be he enjoyed it alright," Draco said, thinking that it was surprising that her stupid old cat would've been that smart to catch on.

"You're such a pig, Malfoy," Hermione responded, "and I don't need your stupid innuendos desecrating my memory of beloved Crooks," Hermione said, both huffily and sadly, and stalked off to get ready for work. Draco followed her out of the kitchen after grabbing his own mug of coffee, and then turned towards his own room, thinking it was better for the both of them if he just let it drop. Besides, he was already thankful she hadn't slapped him like she usually did when she was fed up with his actions. 'I am starting to sound like a sap,' Draco thought to himself bitterly as he went into his own room and settled on the edge of the bed, 'maybe it's the result of not getting any.' Not wanting to think about Hermione in such a context so as not to stir up any feelings or urges, he pushed himself back off of the bed and got ready for work.

By the time Hermione got home that night from the hospital, she was too tired to even stand up straight. It was a good thing that Draco hadn't wanted to go out again tonight, because she wasn't sure she would have been able to take it.

She took her key out of a pocket hidden in the folds of her white cloak and fit it into the lock and turned. 'That's odd,' she thought to herself, having been greeted to an empty, dark house.

She cautiously stepped into the flat and closed the door behind her, and was about to turn on the light in the foyer when she heard the faintest sounds of music playing coming from deep within her bedroom at the back of the house.

Hermione wandered slowly but purposefully towards the source of the music, and was startled by the sight there to behold. Draco stood in front of her, his back turned, lighting by hand the last few of what must have been at least one hundred candles. He was wearing form fitting black pants and a nice muggle dress shirt, a dark green one that had been a present from her last Christmas. 'He looks spectacular,' she thought to herself.

Draco turned around to face her, startling her slightly. "Stare much?" he joked gently.

"This is quite the display, remind me to fight with you about stupid meaningless stuff far more often," Hermione responded quietly, almost forgetting to breathe as he stepped closer to her.

"I'm sorry I fussed at you, Granger, and that's really all I have to say about the ridiculous events of this morning, all is fixed now. But while I have you here, I was thinking we might discuss making this a more permanent arrangement, you know since you've lived here for over a year and we haven't killed one another yet." Draco finished, taking a deep anticipatory breath.

"What makes you so sure I'd agree to spend the rest of my life with you?" Hermione said, throwing his trademark smirk back at him.

"Well I thought the fact that I actually apologized this time would be a good start, that and you absolutely can't resist me," Draco said, smiling down at her.

"That's what you think," Hermione threw back at him playfully.

"Oh, I don't just think it, love, I know it," Draco said, closing in on her and giving her a quick peck on the lips to prove his point.

"Speaking of thinking about things, Draco, I think I might love you," Hermione responded dreamily after they'd pulled apart to look at each other.

"I'd only hope for that to be true, Hermione, because I _know_ that I love you," Draco said, drawing her back in close to him and resting his smiling face in her fragrant curls.

"You know this means I'll actually have to tell my parents about you," Hermione said.

"Well, I'm sure they'll get used to me eventually, and if not I can work extra hard to wear them down just like I did you," Draco responded.

"Alright, you just keep telling yourself that, Draco, and I won't let it slip that I realized it was in my best interest to just give in," Hermione told him softly.

"You just did," Draco pointed out the obvious to her, and leaned down to capture her mouth with his.

"Only because the fights are worth it when they lead to this," Hermione said, drawing back a bit to speak before plunging back into the wonderful candlelit darkness with her live-in-rival-turned-lover.

_Fin_

Notes: Written for the "Fall in Love with DM/HG Fic Exchange," as a fic gift to icewater. Hopefully I've included everything asked for: Post-Hogwarts, cider, snarkiness, misunderstandings, and a long-awaited happy ending!


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